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Practice6 min

Repair after conflict

Returning to each other after a rupture.

  1. 1Settle firstRepair rarely works while either person is still activated.
  2. 2Name your part in itSpecific, and without a general confession.
  3. 3Say what you were protectingOften the more useful information.
  4. 4Ask what it was like for themAnd let the answer land before responding.
  5. 5Agree one small thingFor next time — small enough to actually happen.

You might explore these in your own words — there is no right answer, and stopping partway is completely fine.

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